Don’t lie. You bitches need a festival guide.

Ok, that was aggressive. I’m having a ‘client’ come over in about 15 minutes and my house is a mess, and what am I doing? Giving you advice, not cleaning.

Bonnaroo is next week. No, I’m not going. The only way I was going to be able to go is if God farted 50 gallons of gasoline out of the sky. I just can’t afford any of it. About 400 dollars for tickets for two, plus travel, and food. Even free tix wouldn’t have cut it. So I will mope. And jealously read all about it. (I am a little excited about staying here and showered, though….sssh).

Anyways, I wrote this festival guide before Langerado this year. Nothing really change at Langerado, as far as my advice and experience, so no updating is necessary. Well, be prepared for all weather. My only thing I was missing at L-Ado was a sweater and an extra pair of shoes. It got balls cold, so we were both cold. Didn’t see it coming. Bonnaroo gets COLD AS SHIT at night, so bring a sweater and sweatpants, for real. 7 am rolls around and the sun is spanking you, which sucks, but be prepared for the cold. Please. It sucks.

Music Festival Guide 2008, from le Duchess

P.S. Love you guys. Love your people around you. Help people out. Stay safe, and don’t buy shrooms from a big guy with a beard. Dark hair. Shifty looking, if you have a radar like mine. Seriously. Avoid him.

Enjoy this fitting song:

 Curtis Mayfield - Pusherman [5:06m]: Play in Popup | Download